Sunday, March 15, 2009
Blessings
Last night at church was such a blessing. The sermon was wonderful. Worship was wonderful. Family being there was wonderful. But to be honest, I had a heavy heart yesterday. I think it was in anticipation of my sister leaving along with watching Mom go through chemo. I felt good but just had a heavy heart. I think Taylor was feeling the same way. When we heard Rick read part of Mom's blog during the sermon I think it made those feelings come to the surface. The tears really started to flow. I am not afraid to cry but try to avoid getting started because I am one of those people who once they get started, it is really hard to stop. If you were to look down our row you would have seen Dad and Mom, Taylor and Tyrel, and then me. Freeby offered to take Braden out and walk him so I could sit for a little bit in church. I guess my good friend Allison noticed I was alone and crying, so she came and sat with me. She hugged me and I shared with her that it is really hard to sing right now. It is not that I don't believe the words, it is just that the words mean so much and it is hard to say them out loud. I don't know if this even makes sense, but I am just being me and letting you know how I feel. Anyway, Allison, thank you for being such a sweet friend. Thank all of the rest of you for your sweet words of encouragement. This is a hard time and I know that when I have a hard time singing there are others of you out there who will sing for me until I can get my feet on the ground and sing them too.
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You have no clue how much I love you! And, I'm thanking God every single day for the group of strong, believing women in your life lifting you up to the Lord!
ReplyDeleteThere are so many times the sweetness of Jesus overcomes our souls that words just don't come, so I'm thankful you're allowing others to sing for you in these times. Remember, God hears the heart, and He hears you singing!
I love to sing and will sing loudly for you at this time....even though I am many miles away. When my heart is heavy the hardest thing for me to do is sing as well. Its like singing is the chord straight to our hearts. Been thinking about you and your family alot. My prayers are with you!
ReplyDeleteDon't think I'm crazy, but your post reminded me of an old Point of Grace song that I love. I can relate to what you're saying about not being able to get the words out when you try to sing. You are going through a time when the Spirit will be interceding for you bunches. We're praying for your family daily! OK--here are the words to that song. I hope it encourages you! Love~ Amanda
ReplyDeleteIf a picture's worth a thousand words
What are they?
And since You're spirit intercedes for me
What do you hear when I pray?
'Cause I'm finding it hard to find the word
to let you know how my heart can hurt
so I'll sing the tune
and let you fill in the words
It's comforting to know
My words aren't all You hear
I can talk to You with laughter
And I can talk to you in tears
And I don't have to know just what to say
For You to hear me when I pray
So I'll sing a part and let you read my heart
Singing for you now...and walking with you all through the fire! Hugs!
ReplyDeleteRandi,
ReplyDeleteI emailed your mom the other day and she gave me her blog so I found you. Your family has been on my mind and in my prayers lately. We love you and are here if you need anything let us know!! I have to say that there is not a faimly I know of that has more strength and faith in the Lord than yours. I know He will see you through this!!! Love you.
Holly
Always here for you
ReplyDeleteLove reading your thoughts that come straight from your sincere heart of love for the Lord and your family....love you
ReplyDeleteKelly V
I know what you're saying about the singing. Sometimes I think a song is even more richly expressed when it comes silently, quietly, and with a little bit of a broken heart than when everything is sunshine. The Lord knows your heart and everything in it, including the words you can't say out loud right now.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you have such wonderful friends. Goodness knows you deserve them. God gave them to you for such a time as this. I sure do love you, and I'm always praying.
I can really relate to what you said about your friend coming to sit by you and hug you while you cried (like I'm doing now). Your mom did exactly that for me on the first Mother's Day after my mom had passed away. I was sitting by her at church and was just about ready to run out the door when she put her arms around me and held my while I cried. She may not remember that moment, but I will never forget it. You can never have too many friends and I thank God every day for your precious mom and my friend, Sharon. I'm praying for all of you.
ReplyDelete